When my husband left me.
When I said “I do” I meant it. And I thought he did too. In fact, it never entered my mind that anything would ever happen to us. That anything would break us. I was so secure in our relationship, that the idea that we wouldn’t last wasn’t something I thought I would ever have to worry about.
We had been married for 9 years and had 3 beautiful children together. Many people would look at us and joke that we were a magazine family. Picture perfect. Always smiling, always happy.
About 6 weeks after our 9th wedding anniversary I was suggesting that it might be fun to take the family away for our 10th anniversary the following year. Some fabulous holiday where we could all celebrate. There was something in the way he reacted that caught me off guard. He was dismissive and even flippant about such a huge milestone. The shrug of his shoulders, his whole body language was off. I remember it so well because it was so out of character.
He started to come home later from work and take “work calls” at home where he would have to leave the room. He would come back distant and disconnected. We started arguing about silly things, I don’t even know what they were about but I knew something wasn’t right.
I was making the kids lunches one morning, and it was super cold! It’s funny the things you remember but I had on this crazy ugly dressing gown. He came into the kitchen and as he made his morning coffee he said “I’m leaving” I assumed he meant for work but he meant from us. He told me he no longer loved me and that he wanted to go and live his life. I wish I hadn’t been wearing that dressing gown.
My whole life was shattered. He walked out the door and didn’t come back except to get his things. The upheaval was immense. We had gone from this seemingly perfect family to constant fighting and backlash.
My credit cards were stopped and he stopped paying school fees. I had never dealt with the finances and suddenly (despite having my own income) I was lost. And then there were the arguments over the kids. It was either money, not showing up to pick them up from school or changing plans at the last minute. It wasn’t fair. They thought it was all their fault and it broke my heart.
It was getting too much in the end. I hadn’t even considered a lawyer until a friend suggested Smart Legal. I guess I was hoping things might change, that somehow despite the mess we would figure out a routine and agreement. I mean we were on the same page once before; couldn’t it happen again?
The team at Smart Legal changed everything. I had gone from a life of chaos, struggling to make ends meet and worried about my children and their well-being, to being able to make arrangements that suited us all. We had built a life together and suddenly I was out in the cold. I just wanted what was fair, and in the end, I just wanted to get on with my life too.
Nothing prepares you for divorce, but Smart Legal really helped me navigate one the hardest times of my life. They helped put things right so that we could all move on.